My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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