I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
