I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Pants are for mortals
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
