im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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