he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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