He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
