kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We talked him into tasing himself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
