its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
