So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
