I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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