For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
