I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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