you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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