i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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