its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
