i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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