I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
