Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
