OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
