My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
two words: eviction party
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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