I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
