look no pants
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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