I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
