Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
