it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
