I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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