Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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