Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
