Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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