Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
