Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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