Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
