I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
