Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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