question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am one with the molecules
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
