Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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