so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
