I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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