If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
