We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
