I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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