Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
