I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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