i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize