Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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