God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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