Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
