How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
