we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
