Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
