I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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