I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
