Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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