I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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