you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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