lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
