Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
