Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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